i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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