I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
