I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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