white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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