She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
