I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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