Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
