i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
