I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
