You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
