May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
