Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
