Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
