Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
