He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
