Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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