theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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