we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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