He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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