Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
