youre lurking in front of me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
