i think i have herpe
just one?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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