i barfeds in our rink
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
