i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
