I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
