I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
