let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
