New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
