I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish my penis had a tongue
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
