my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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