if you like me you must not know who I am
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
