am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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