I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There's even glitter on my cock...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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