I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
