i don't like sucking hair
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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