I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
