Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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