Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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