Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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