i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
