I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
