We won't sleep together?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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