I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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