Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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