I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
