Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
