Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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