Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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