names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Terrible idea I love it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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