So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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