im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
