So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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